I've got some things I need to remember.

To be honest with myself about.

To look back on and smile.

To be thankful.

To feel His presence in every day and moment.

Our house situation is just about to get going. Like, really going. We filed for a permit to renovate our home yesterday. They (City of ATL) said 12 days

. We shall see! Let the first actual countdown begin! I am so excited! New master bed and bath. A torn down and built back up mudroom/laundry room/pantry. A renovated kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was extra! Art is making it happen for his very thankful wife!

I have pitched more than a few fits over this last year or more. And Art is still my husband! Many thanks for that! The surprise of this pregnancy I think put me over the edge. I was not ready. But when would I ever have been ready for the humongous blessing of a baby boy? Gods timing is perfect and it makes me giddy sometimes just thinking of who He is creating in this big belly of mine.

Back to the house. This has been a road. A roller coaster really. Of many ups and downs and big curves and whatever else can happen on a roller coaster. And God is leading us to a wonderful solution. I am so thankful. The timing is interesting. 7 weeks til my due date. 2 weeks til permit is approved (allegedly). 12 weeks of construction. Hm...interesting math there, right? So we have some figuring to do. I have agonized over what the best scenario would be for our fam. The most comfortable for my parents (we are moving in with them for prob 6 weeks of the renovation). The easiest with a BRAND NEW BABY! What if he comes early? What if he's late? Do we put up the crib - no way! Does he need some blue clothes - maybe! What else does he need? Diapers, wipes, clothes, passies, sound machine and a pack n play. That pretty much wraps up my list. Poor third kiddo! He will be incredibly loved though!!! Cant beat that!

So some days I have stressed myself to thinking about all the what-ifs.

Three weeks ago or so it was like God just took it all away.

Saying,

"Just be here with Me. I AM all you need.

I have got this under my control.

I am knitting this baby together in your womb.

He will come on the day I choose.

I will give you what you need. When you need it.

Enjoy your time with these girls I have already given you.

Sit down for a second. Read to them. Giggle with them. Make a mess.

Delight in them. Show them how much you love them.

Enjoy your time with the man I have made your husband.

Do something great for him.

Call out to me when you are struggling. I will give you rest.

Thank me for what I have already done.

I AM faithful.

And I love you.

You are mine.

None of this is possible without me.

Nothing."

Well, ok. Cannot argue with that! So one day at a time around here. There are many many unknowns about the next phase of our life! But I am pumped! God is so good!

This year will have trials that I know are right around the bend. in addition to bringing sweet baby boy home to an unknown location (for now) to two sweet sisters who will need to adjust, I will likely deal with postpartum this time around. They say it gets worse after you have had it once. And boy did I have it with Harper. So, again, I will swallow my pride, admit I cant do it alone and cry out to our God and my doctors for help. I am not looking forward to that. But I know who will carry me through it. And I pray for mercy and grace and a miracle that it won't happen again. But its likely to happen. I'll cross that bridge when I get there! Cannot worry about that today!

My best friend of 6 years is moving in 2 weeks. Aren't we just the cutest! Ha!!!

I am in denial. Can I make it through this exciting and difficult stuff without her? Well, I guess I better, but its gonna stink. She's been my lifeline many days through our journey as moms. The one I call when I can call no one else. Just start crying for no reason. She gets it. She gets me. We are honest. And real. And have fun. And love one anothers children. And this is gonna hurt like a word I can't say. She is a gift. I knew it the day I met her. I could hear God whispering in my heart that she would be my buddy. Lots of life would happen with her. And it has. And it has been good. Really good. And it will go on. But it will be different. But I will get through that. And she will too! Its part of life. I know that. But I can hear God saying, I will get you through this! Believe me! We can do this if you will just follow me! So to that I say, "okay, but God, you know, I am going to cry a lot! And that does not mean I dont trust you. It just means I am sad!" I think He knows that about me by now! After all, He did kinda make me! :)

But man oh man! There are so many fun things ahead too! Like, meeting my sweet son! Being it that delivery room with Art again! Introducing him to his sisters who are so excited! Living with my parents for a little while. Picking out tile and flooring and furniture and fabric. Watching my house change before my eyes. We have some books to read. Games to play. Shows to watch. Clothes to clean. Soccer balls to kick. A 3 year old birthday to celebrate. Adventures to have. Memories to make!

How glorious it feels to be held in the arms of our God. I know things will not be perfect. But I am thankful He has showed me just to trust in Him. Not to worry. Go with the flow. Make preparations but don't over analyze. Enjoy what is today. Make the most of opportunities He gives. And be thankful.