Another House Update

Still waiting here! Clearly, I have some patience issues. God has been working on my waiting skills for years now. You'd think by now I'd have it figured out, but still I wait, telling me I totally don't have it figured out!

So we had a contractor come out the very next week. He told us we could have all we wanted and more for the price we were asking. Well, I guess he thought about it too long and did too much research! Dern. His final quote was $51,000 more than his original estimate. Ouch. Minor freak out had by all (me). An afternoon and evening of red puffy eyes and tears streaming down. I could feel the dream slipping away. I thought this was Gods plan. I really did. I thought our road was leading to this. So I was feeling a little lost. Still close to the God would I knew would provide but just uncertain of what the provision would be. Last week we had another contractor to see the house. His quote was much less, still too high for what we can even stretch to afford, and it included much less, but hey, its a start.

I have moments of "why are we doing this to ourselves?". Feeling in my heart like if we just got organized and situated better in this small space that we would be okay. For a while anyways. I am so unorganized. Stuff is everywhere. I am cleaning all the time. And I do not know how to do better. I try and try and get tired and discouraged. Then I have a moment of "Forget this, lets blow all we have, lets just live it debt, I'm cool with it as long as it brings sanity to my days." Ha - who is that speaking so loudly. Satan, maybe!?! So clearly that way of thinking is not what I need to listen to, but hey, I am just being honest. That evil one is here too, and he's tempting me with things and a life we just cant afford yet. Or maybe we won't ever afford it.

Clearly I need a renewal of my mind. This home addition may still be God's gift of a plan for our family right now. But it might not. We so badly want to do the obedient thing even if it looks dumb to onlookers. My prayer is that our home is not about number of rooms and square feet but of love and laughter and more important eternal things. Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY want another room and bathroom and even an updated kitchen. And I will continue to ask big about that. But if I can't have what I am asking for, or even if I can, I want every inch of space to be filled with His grace and love and joy.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Big and Small!!!

Stay tuned!