With small steps.
With what I've got.
Deep breath.
Sigh.
Whew.
There is so much I want to do.
With our family.
With our home.
With my life.
For my girls.
And my son.
For my husband.
For our Savior.
For His Kingdom.
For my health.
For their health.
For my sanity. : )
For making money somehow.
For fun.
For my walk with the Lord.
For lots of things.
There is so much!
And each of those has a list of twenty things I could be doing.
So I start one, maybe two.
Get a little into it, and get overwhelmed, then give up.
I just can't do it.
Definitely can't do it all.
It's a little discouraging, but more than that, I just have this constant wonder.
Of WHEN am I going to GET IT?
When am I going to do what I know I need to?
When will I wake up like the woman of Proverbs 31?
When will I gain a heart of wisdom and understanding?
When will I workout before my kids are awake?
And read my Bible each and every day?
When will I crave His time and attention.
When will my Art and I make time to spend together?
And actually see each other?
When will this begin?
OH!
When I have self-control.
And not self-doubt.
When I set the alarm for 5:45am.
And GET UP!
When I open my Bible and read just one chapter a day.
Even if its one day.
IT'S ONE chapter.
One workout.
One healthy meal.
One game played.
One thoughtful prayer.
One encouraging word or action.
One sweet laugh.
One date.
More than the day before.
Its not going to be overnight.
Its a process.
Oh and remember God is in the process.
While we are working.
He is working on us.
He is working on me.
Thank you Lord for giving me these desires.
Please show me what is most important.
What to leave behind.
What needs more focus.
Just for the record...
this is not a pity party.
this is me.
recognizing things need to be done.
but also seeing things that have already been done.
great things.
wonderful things.
i am overly, abundantly blessed and am thankful every single day.
for how God has made me, what He has given me, and how He is using me.
that's all
Girl.....you are my soul sister like no other! I can echo every-single-word! I say this to myself over and over all day! But the hope is that The Lord's mercies are new every morning and you and I can both try again tomorrow! And....you have ALOT going on right now, no, it's not an excuse but it is a reality....it's a season and in several more sleeps youll be in a different season and have more capacity for some of these things you want to do. I believe it for me, too!
ReplyDeleteBut - in the mean time - we need to get our crazy families together and show each other that we are not alone. 3 kids is no joke! And a new(ish) house and a thriving marriage....so many responsibilities but so many blessings. Love to yall.
love you. a girl after my own heart!
ReplyDeleteand for the record, i think you do many of these things very well!!
and i bet your family would say the same thing!
<3
oh, but you should def start with learning to shake the egg.
i love you and i'm proud of you! you're a precious mom.
ReplyDelete